Saturday, 2 August 2008
Finally, the weekends. Saturday. I needed a break from work. I needed to get out of work. Work sucks. I tendered. 1 Aug 2008.*** Removed due to request ***
In my most shittiest hour, people still expect me to put others before me. I couldn't anymore. Not after what happened. I was played out. Turned on a blind eye by my so-called buddy. Cannot help but feel that he is making use of me. My own team leader, or should I say Ops Lead or APSM. Good luck for your future role. You don't need me anymore. You are very very talented and capable of transforming DNA and bring the best out of it. Richard looks up to you. Sharon looks up to you. You don't need me...
Siti, on the other hand, is being very very nice to me. Didn't even bother to lambast me. The person I expect to lambast me said nice things to me instead. Sorry for expecting something bad from you Siti. Thank you.
The team can do it without me. Who am I? I am nothing, just another irritant. A joke. The team is not where it is because of me. Its because of him. Freddie. I don't expect them to say, hey Zaki, you are the team. No. I am not. I am never that person. Never.
Now, there is a new team leader. Ruzanna. She will do a bang of a job, trust me. You all don't need me. I am nothing. Only emotional wreck (edited). She said so too.
Time will fly by very slowly... Please, I beg of you all. Don't talk to me anymore. Don't tell me to stay or anything. Please. There is no passion or heart left in me to do this anymore. Issues, refreshers, process, training, going around asking if the ticket they logged is okay, price check is done or not, validation report okay or not, checked things before logging ticket or not, laptop problems, phone issues, IT issues, Intel, need explanation on process, how to do this, why is this that way bla bla bla... NO MORE... And NO, I don't need a break. I need a change. Change of employer.
Just endure this 4 weeks that you have with me. It will all be over soon folks... Elvis will leave the building... Soon... Soon... Patience... Just hang on... A little bit more.. It will all be over... Soon.
Zaki van Persie