Monday 29 June 2009
Just when I thought I got a respite from work, it never fails to haunt me...
I never tell anyone this, except my sister, and my mum.
I am sick of work.
Especially in the same company.
After being played out by some moron, I work for the right people too late.
While some people do try to help and give you their support, some people just are plain fucking idiots. Sending wrong emails to wrong projects, not looking at forms before sending them out, logging tickets for 1 minute device flaps; thus creating unnecessary work for others to follow up.
You had your chance about 5 months ago. You fucking screwed it up, now you want to screw me up by opening up unnecessary tickets, and sending EMC emails to Ops Lead's NCS ACCOUNT ??!?! HOW FUCKING STUPID can you be...
My heart is not here anymore. I lost faith in myself. I can't even motivate myself to work anymore, let alone motivate others. People ask me if I can do it. What is there to say if not say that I can do it ? What can you do if I say I can't ?
I don't want to give it my all. What do I get from all that ? What's in it for me ? Don't want to say anything else anymore... As I browse through the email, I suddenly just switch it off... Whatever I do, it is never enough... Some people are just very, very hard to please.. and some people just don't want to listen...
Apart from all that, my life is good. Caught up with the n9 folks. Niceeee.. Transformers... nice.. Met someone new. But not motivated to do sumthing about it at the moment. Nice chatting companion, tok cock companion. But that's it. I don't know.....
Am thinking of probably having a small barbecue this Sunday with the family. Missed the grilled chicken and meat already... Desaru still lingers in my mind... At times, I just feel like crying on bed.. hugging my bolster, asking myself, what is wrong with me... Iyah... work...
I lost faith in love.
I lost faith in work.
No passion for love.
No passion for work.
I don't like doing both anymore...
It's not spiritually satisfying...
I wish the H1N1 hit me... Get myself 7 days MC or sumthing.. or better still let it kill me..
Family can benefit from my insurance & CPF payout..
Need to get the will ready... Just in case...
God please help me... I need You now...
Zaki van Persie
Monday 8 June 2009
My God ! It has been a long while since I've updated this ! Yes.. alot of things have been going on for the past 1.5 months or so.
Last weekend of the month of May. Went to my mum's hometown near Desaru. That was a well-deserved getaway for me and my family. Drove there, with the Punto Grande. Made a few ladies scream in the car LoLoL.. It was a wedding reception.
Man, I ate like there is no tomorrow ! The rendangs, and the chickens and all. My oh my. Drove there at 9am and reached there like about 11am. Once there, we immediately feast on the food. Mmm..
The chickies over there were alright, but due to the outrageous hot weather, I decided to hide in the car from 1.30pm onwards, parked under a tree, blast the aircon up, and got myself a power nap... yeah.. 2 hour powernap.
Thank God for the nap, cause then my family decided to tag along to usher the groom to the bride's place ! Convoy of cars went over, including ours, then stopped over at the house. It was so traditional, with the kompang, bunga manggar and all the zanji people. Went into the bride's house. Mmm.. more chickies :-p Oohh my.. awesome.. wish I wore my transition :-p
We then head to the chalet after all that was over. Air con. Immediately grabbed a quick shower. Went to Pekan Sungei Rengit. Yup, you got that right. It is a small town centre. Purely awesome. Had a light dinner there before the BBQ. Did some light shopping to cover the necessities. Yummy satay. God.. Then head back to the chalet for BBQ. Ooh man, simply awesome. Chilli stingray, some bite sized steaks, chicken wings. God..
Don't want to talk about life in Singapore. Felt abit sad when I drove back. Things are much more slower, and steadier in Desaru than here. I don't know. Need to find better reasons to come back other than wedding receptions or Aidil Fitri. Talked to my mom about the other reason. Cos I gave up on that already...
I fell in love with the place, the food, the peace, the serenity, the calm of it all.
I think... I need to fall in love with someone in there...
Thanks Mom.
Zaki van Persie