Monday, 29 June 2009
Just when I thought I got a respite from work, it never fails to haunt me...I never tell anyone this, except my sister, and my mum.
I am sick of work.
Especially in the same company.
After being played out by some moron, I work for the right people too late.
While some people do try to help and give you their support, some people just are plain fucking idiots. Sending wrong emails to wrong projects, not looking at forms before sending them out, logging tickets for 1 minute device flaps; thus creating unnecessary work for others to follow up.
You had your chance about 5 months ago. You fucking screwed it up, now you want to screw me up by opening up unnecessary tickets, and sending EMC emails to Ops Lead's NCS ACCOUNT ??!?! HOW FUCKING STUPID can you be...
My heart is not here anymore. I lost faith in myself. I can't even motivate myself to work anymore, let alone motivate others. People ask me if I can do it. What is there to say if not say that I can do it ? What can you do if I say I can't ?
I don't want to give it my all. What do I get from all that ? What's in it for me ? Don't want to say anything else anymore... As I browse through the email, I suddenly just switch it off... Whatever I do, it is never enough... Some people are just very, very hard to please.. and some people just don't want to listen...
Apart from all that, my life is good. Caught up with the n9 folks. Niceeee.. Transformers... nice.. Met someone new. But not motivated to do sumthing about it at the moment. Nice chatting companion, tok cock companion. But that's it. I don't know.....
Am thinking of probably having a small barbecue this Sunday with the family. Missed the grilled chicken and meat already... Desaru still lingers in my mind... At times, I just feel like crying on bed.. hugging my bolster, asking myself, what is wrong with me... Iyah... work...
I lost faith in love.
I lost faith in work.
No passion for love.
No passion for work.
I don't like doing both anymore...
It's not spiritually satisfying...
I wish the H1N1 hit me... Get myself 7 days MC or sumthing.. or better still let it kill me..
Family can benefit from my insurance & CPF payout..
Need to get the will ready... Just in case...
God please help me... I need You now...
Zaki van Persie