Saturday, 27 March 2010
it should be a saturday morning when i am writing this...here i am again, alone, bored, sad and angry for myself.. letting myself being fooled by a girl again..or maybe was it me that let myself be fooled by ladies again.
too many times have i been hurt by them.. i think its time that i vowed to myself that never shall i be fooled by them again.. its time i leave this to God.. or my mum hehehe
for those of you who are interested, it all happens when i transferred back to HP / EDS.. about a month after that i start to notice this girl in the shuttle bus... yup, this stupid heart of mine also starts to take interest...
the usual crap feeling start to creep up in me.. and 6 long months after that, i decided to get some guts and approach her one day, when i was going home taking the shuttle bus. it was nice, i have to admit.. dinner, talking over the phone.. i have to admit.. a feeling that i have always longed for in my life.
reality starts to kick in quickly now thou as after my enjoyable trip to Desaru, never before have I felt soo quick to long for another Desaru trip.. i was thinking.. it was a damn wasteful trip that only 1 day later, i felt that i need another one... thanks eh Liana...
the phrase "just wanna be friends" is a nicer, more polite way of saying "fuck off from my life". Everyone knows that. but it would even be more polite if you tell me that from day 1, and tell me that you are seeing someone, or not interested in getting to know me. yes i know, i am ugly, poor. the difference between you and some other people out there is that they have the guts to tell me the truth and not play me for a fucking fool... i also dun fucking mind if u tell me that i'm too old for u goddamn it..
but no, you've got to do the fake smiles, giggles, laughter.. and Mr Moron over here jus got to fall for all those all over again and yadda yadda yadda... and yes.. what impeccable timing.. got to know her days before her birthday... thank god i forgot already... i am not good with dates of ppl who scorned me... but that will leave a valuable lesson for me to learn..
till today, i still cannot believe i bought for her a bracelet from Citigems.. i barely dun even know this girl.. oh my god.. what is happening to me ? am i that naive ? am i that gullible ? God please help me.. Ya Allah... janganlah pertemukan diriku dengan orang orang sebegini.. Amin..
Zaki van Persie